Old Friend Of Mine~

i see how a person can change so much today. sometimes they just won't realize. sometimes the people around won't notice that too. unless the person have not been seeing each other for some time, then they will notice the difference.

the person i see so much changes in her, is me. honestly i never realize that. sometimes people come and say "you changed", i won't agree with them. or i will response with a lazy "yaaa haha" to end the conversation.

i see myself not so happy as i am before. i see myself with so many small issue yet not able to settle it well. i see myself, feeling so happy to see other people giving her a sweet smile, and that's what i haven't been seeing for so long, the real smile, the ReaL smile, from the bottom of their heart. And i just love them. love to see them that way, but that's what NOT gonna happen.

everyone have temper. most of them, good temper. i have bad temper since long. this is the thing that will never change? but today, i see myself as a really bad temper person. and i hate a person easily.

and today, i suddenly saw my past, and myself now. how can i forget that i used to be a girl? lol that's like a joke to me. i went out with my friend. whenever it's about shopping or clothes, i will be at the "boy's" position, which is stand near the holder and wait for them. i look back for few months, only i realize, i've been all my friends and sister's Boyfriend for so long. i happen to stand outside with my brother and dad instead of inside the shop with the girls.

Today i get to know myself. as what i said, a person will never notice themself change, until another old friend manage to meet them and tell them that "you changed". and today, my old friend, my old "me", visited me, bring back my memory, remind me, and said "you changed my friend" and that's when i know, i was there, always was, but i can't bring a death person to life, and she will never live, again. :)

i know somebody will never accept me. i know my changes might bring up some issue. but i know, that my "friend" ONCE live in me. but she's gone. she's just there, to remind me.