Bernard the Gangster dog | 10 / 08 / 11

Foster a dog found by mddb. he looks ok that night. so quiet. when i was talking to the rescuer, he just look and other time he'd lie down. but i do notice that he didn't like me THAT much. he like my brother Wilson more. From his eyes, and reaction, i know he is timid, and insecure. he's ok when i touches his head. but not the body.

Next day will be the beginning of story and a day that i learned the word "f.e.a.r". He is starting to howl, and bark. have u seen a dog howl infront of u? it is exactly like the wolf in the movie >.<

That day, i was suppose to reach office 10am sharp! because i have videos that need to be sent to tv station. but when i go out, shiat, he got out of his leash. the kibbles are full of ants. i took out the spray and broom to clean up. he hates the broom! and he wanted to bite it. well, he won't really bite LA, i thought.

cleaning up his mess is already few mins. 9:45am. i seriously gotta move my ass man but he start to walk around the house.. and we are playing "hide and seek" with me holding the leash in my hand trying to catch him and him trying to not get caught by me.. sigh...9:45am man i got no time!

he got himself into one corner. i get to hold his collar but then when i try to put on the leash he wants to bite me. i can't believe it.. im hurt inside, no dogs ever treat me like that before.. i scream so loud at the same time scolding no..then quickly look around to make sure no body watching hahah

he see snowie in the house, he wants to bite snowie too.. i'm furious! my hand is bitten a little. just a little cause i manage to pull out fast. then he try to bite me again. i'm angry and sad, and it's 9:50am already, so i just open the gate and left. but i keep watching him. also tried to get him back in my house but failed i'm even more pissed so i just left. Bernard, is the first dog i ever scolded "fucking dog". hahah

at night he came back but we did not pay any attention to him.

2 day after he left, he came back one night. i heard him howling and barking. i'm sad, i'm pressured, by both parents and the dog. my dad is really mad. that night, i'm dilemma-ing whether to give him food and water as what mddb adviced. i do have the FEAR seeing him. but his howl makes me feel real sad.

i did not care bout him. then he go to another house, house by house, to howl and bark. when the howling gets farer, i get even more sad.. so i let the buddha make the "decision". if he comes back in 5 mins, i'll help him. i waited.. but the howling getting more far. well, i guess i must have wanted him to come back because i can't go up to sleep. i wont be able to sleep even im super tired, my heart is aching for him.

before i really decide to go up, howling, and barking again..this time in front of my house. i was excited. im so stupid i should've just feed him earlier. i rush out with food and water, together with wilson. he's waiting. then eat, and drink quickly. he's so hungry..sigh...and he's afraid of us. every move we made, he pull himself back in shock, but still grabbing the food quickly in the mouth. after he finish, he left. " he's a beggar dog" , i said to wilson.

heart wrenching.. he just want some food. he can't accept care. real big sin for the dog in his past life..sigh..

and finally i get to sleep more comfortably.. May the buddha be with you :)

13/08/11 - Bernard walked all the way back to rescuer's house. rescuer and i captured him with food. and was sent to neuter this morning :) finally feeling relief now..to know that he is save!

Pei Yi
13 / 08 / 11