Why the hell??

Until this morning..my day's still so good. not to mention the epilepsy attack. other than that. i'm so fine...

but why the hell suddenly there's a piano teaching job offered?i don't need it hello....now make me...make me...don't know what to do...

i want to keep my self away from music. there's no more adagio and allegro in my brain anymore. if i teach again. i need to RElearn those italian terms. and many music stuff..

arghhhhhhhhhhh......WHAT SHOULD I DO??????????i really don't feel like teaching anymore. but if i don't. it's like losing a chance..but i don't feel like going backwards.

i'm hoping someone will say something like "you should move forward". but no...no one said that. not even one. so sick of it.