Lower down your expectation....

第一次和这个马来帅哥AS合作。。还不知道接下来的路会怎样，可是，单看那天的讨论，就觉得我们应该会很难和的来吧！

星期五那天有点累，所以脑比较不能想东西。可是我第一次JOIN他们，就劲量提出意见！JYE要我加入AS他们。。我想了很久，其实也是有原因。我觉得会有沟通方面的问题。可是当讨论的时候，就渐渐发现，原来他们要的，比我要的东西来得少。

有几次我发表意见时，AS会一脸无奈，显得有些不爽。可能是我想太多吧！

不知是不是跟AJPRODUCTION太久，或被JAYA影响到，我有点走出学生要的范围。不是说自己拍的片很好。只是觉得，不管出来的东西好不好，至少要去尝试，要投本。

当天AS想的IDEA还不错，可是他想的地点，演员，都是学校，学校，又学校！我当时就不发表意见，现让他们说。可是他们就是选学校，不然就是朋友来演。我是觉得那位朋友有点老，不适合。

第一个IDEA不能用，就拍另一个。要拍路人。。AS说就SUBANG吧！我说不如选KL..那边应该景色都比SUBANG好，而且人比较多。AS当时就给我一个无奈的脸色，然后就走出课室了。

既然和他不能沟通，我很多事，都会等AS跑开后，再和另一位马来女生说。我解释为什么我不要为什么不行，我希望她会传话给AS。

说实话，我不是很想导这个片。AS是蛮有主见的人。如果我来导，一定很多事他会不喜欢。我要求的东西会比他要求的多。。一定很多CONFLICT..

老师安排我们在一起，开心的是，我不必做很多，因为他们蛮PRO.可是，我会比较希望跟一些比较没经验的人合作。

想想也好啦！他们可以帮我SAVE COST..我可以放多点心机在SHORT FILM 身上。TVC 的 FINAL， 就让他们办吧！！

希望接下来可以合作愉快咯！！

The making is now on youtube...
go to
http://youtube.com/ajproductionmy

METALYI

TVC *tink* done!!!

The most troublesome video..at the moment..is this tvc..and it's done now!!like finally!!!

it's not perfect for me yet..but i have to move on..for my next short film video..i need some time to refresh my mind..take away all the ghost festival stuff..

this Tvc's root idea was from klee..thinking of doing something related to ghost festival ON hungry ghost month is pretty funny..and scary as well..

because of this tvc, we went to kampung subang many times..almost everyone there know us d..=D
it's fun to see village like that, on certain festival, they gather around..u see faces, same faces...

i was bitten by really big ant there, and left a mark on my leg..my friend got con for a plate of noodle..but of course..other than that, people there are so nice..willing to help out..

the only thing is, too less shot!!if it didn't rain, i couldv't shoot more extra shot..then it will be easier for the editing work..

my da jie said they shooting normally will bring a bomoh along to control the rain..hahah..we didn't~~we didn't even say things like "we're here just for shooting, dont get mad"..things like that...but i know..everyone pray in heart..we are protected..

i'd say this is a troublesome video cause it often makes me wanna stay away from it..avoid seeing it..until hinzges really come to me only i start doing..

many times at the college, when doing editing, i didn't want to touch it..this is the first video that makes me don't feel wanna edit it..want to leave it there forever..and that breaks me down..i never have that kind of feeling before..

Afterall, i need to thanks to my crew, especially Klee!! helped out alot...really ALOT!!
thanks Jeahau, Hinzges, Soo, Waiheng for helping out..and to fynessa and gobury, thanks for willing to help out..it sure is tough..especially fynessa, need to knee there for so long until your knee have mark..

Hope u all enjoy the video..good or bad, just tell me or my crew..we can accept it..we're still student, and this is the best time for us to receive baddest bad comment ... really! =)



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


now headache for short film!! xD

MetalYi

.....Pressure T.T

Feeling very tired today, i hope jaya won't message me..cuz he said if he don't message means no lighting class..

can say that, my dream come true, he messaged me say that no lighting class for me cause he rejected most of his student's work..

after few minutes, there's another message..i feel..i will be very scared of message tone..very scare of incoming message..it could be him anytime..

he wants my opera work to be the finest in Malaysia..ur not kidding me??finest in malaysia??im not even the best in subang hello..!!he's putting high expectation on my work...

actually can see that from his face..he's really really happy and excited when he talk to me about my work few days ago..

now i know...what is stress...at this very moment, i feel a little happy, for he did put hope on my work, and at the same, i feel really really scareeee and really stress....i haven't even do the correction on the idea..

i DID listen to bei...don't put too high hope on everything..so i was thinking, can finish this short film, already good enough for me...BUT!!!!!!!!!!!the lecturer..put high hope on me..what to do..

im shaking!!!zzzzz....scary shit@@ and my body is dam hot!!feel going to faint already..that kind of pressure...cannot take it at all..

i replied him..told him im struggling with it...hope he lower down the expectation =P

i should be doing my animation 2 now but my mind is in such a mess..and i got so panic...i need some time to chill...

i hope those VA junior won't have to face a one on one class..it's really suffer..don't know who to turn to..

MetalYi

always always always...~

can't sleep. the moment i lye on my bed, i keep thinking how to change the opera story...keep keep thinking..tried to think a better one that jaya might like...

but i still love my own story..i don't agree with jaya this time..don't know why..i want my character to be like this..and he wants like that...

normally, for better credits, i will do what lecturer ask me to do..but this time..i really got an headache..cuz i really don't know which way to turn to...this feeling sux!!!

that day's class..so suffer, but i don't get it why, jaya is so dam happy!!and excited..makes me feel smash him in the head sometimes..after class he's still excited, go out and talk HAPPILY with klee and hinz..and they see me...like im half dead, down..

is that how lecturer do??when the students gets more pressure, they get mad and go excited??he keep acting in the class..the reaction is very very big..

but i don't get it...he wants cinderella story..=(

how should i sleep then??

------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy for u lin =D

ur 11th month...with esk..good good...u guys have go this far..its not easy...know u can't wait for ur first anniversary..

yesterday was ur 11th month..u don't seem happy when we're out with esk..just for little thing...u asked me, if it's u and bei last time, will u be angry?

i will say ya i will..but i didn't..i feel different guy..cannot judge like that..esk has been a real good guy!!!so just forget bout it..

see see!! u wasted one whole day to enjoy nicely with esk...ur more like enjoying with me huh..haha!!

i feel ur anniversary should make it big big big...go somewhere further ya!!but u dun have to worry..i believe in esk...he will make it unforgetable!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

T-shirt!!!!FINALLY REACH U YOYO!!!!

i don't know if ur really happy or surprise...cause u've seen bei's blog after all..

and its just a t-shirt...hope ur not acting like what i told u the day before ya...dun learn from me..hahah

that t-shirt..i'll tell you how the idea comes up..and why all the other years u got no pressie and this yr so special..

i remember that day, u told me u perasan that ur fren backstab u..yeh perasan moi!!!ur always like that...and u seems to be very gan jeong bout ur bday...

that time, ur frens, ur "you know who", seems like not planning to celebrate with you..

tht time can feel u disappointed...plus i can't sleep at night..keep thinking what to do for ur bday...i suddenly thought of t-shirt..with wordings..maybe ur name or sumthing..

next day i get lin and esk to discuss bout it..esk already check price and all..lin say put young picture and all...so design..is from lin xD

hope u like it...that pic we choose very long d...dam cute!!!so forget bout the rm5 rantai ok!!!!hahaahah

the t-shirt is more like surprise to me really...cuz i really wanna do it very much...lin told me on monday, saying tht can't do anymore...ask me forget bout it..and i sadly agree with her..

then she suddenly take out the t-shirt..like its a surprise for me..i really scream there d...TOO CUTE!!!!!

"we always got your back"...that's for real...we stay apart..but we always got ur back..even we're at subang =p

MealYi

5 types of guys to avoid

GIRLS Check this out!!Funny, yet so true~~

5 Types of Guys to Avoid at All Costs

(yahoo)

我错了！对不起！

真的很烦。已经有一种无法控制自己的感觉。还真希望，会突然失意，然后重新做人，重新交朋友，重新认识新的自己。

现在的生活，真的好像很没有意义。想出去，又不敢踏出第一步。所以每一天，都躲在家里。真的想去旅游，吸些新鲜空气。

现在已经不想约人了，被拒绝就会觉得是自己的错。像昨天游戏里没人理，就觉得自己错了。没说话，就不会被ignore。。

真的很不开心。可是要说是为什么，还真的说不出。问题是自己，自己就是那个鬼。

时常会到处跟朋友说我不开心，已经觉得自己说的次数太多。自己都觉得烦！朋友们因该觉得更烦吧。我不会再说了。。

现在就想说声对不起。我错了！

yes, the hug!!

It's like...i'm WAY TOO BORED..and i've been playing hero game since afternoon...so i see what else i can click on on the computer...

Skype..hmm..log on and dam i saw pall'. didn't know i miss him so much...he's been a really good "heart to heart" pal since last time..and he never will forget me...so am i...

it's been a depressing day..and i suddenly miss the feeling...of those skype days~~

Pall' is so surprise i got into film and animation..i think my words can actually make him jump LoLx..

he never stop saying "u took me by surprise", or "im so surprise"..

maybe i really look not that tough for a person to believe i can jump into this field haha

i know i always lack of so much confidence..and i will remember your words..

"[10:10:46 PM] Páll says: so promise me that you wont let anything distroy your confidence
[10:11:38 PM] Páll says: so be openminded and self critical .... but learn and get going"

and yeah, if ur here, i will let u give me a big hug..cuz i feel giving u a big hug too..miss u too much

im in the toughest progress here. and the progress makes me fear to think of my next short film..

but i will try my best!!and act as i already receive your hug!!

thanks for all the support guys!!
thanks Pall

MetalYi

It's a COOKING day~~

no lunch again...=|

i feel wanna fry noodle, but look at the pan for so long, think of the progress...lazy shit..

but after i cook noodle, gas open, oil ready..=p im gonna fry noodle!!

it's not too bad..i mean the taste..lin say nice =P

and the progress...is like sweat sweat!!

i don't remember when is the last time i cook..it's like so rush??i cook like mad cow!!

can't believe i suddenly can't cook already...=(

when the noodle is almost done, the pan is almost "done" too..kinda..errr...stick pan and black..then my brother shout from the computer room say "going to burn d"..

i feel asking him to shaddap!!!his so far and he know whats happening...dam him!!

ahaha the moment i put in the noodle, my brother say "wah smell nice" and after just few minutes, it become "it's burning already".

it's dirty everywhere, cuz i'm cooking like a mad cow..!!so i have to clean up everything before i eat..see..the progress, sure makes people lazy to cook...

and awww...my sis came back at the right time, (she wants me to clean snowie's poo =.=) and i keep dragging her to try my noodle..


she like it..she say its looks ugly but nice..then i let boy try it..he say nice..awwwwwwwww~~~~~happie~~~

i wanted to let my dad try..don't dare =( but i know he sure like it..cause it's very salty!!

Maggie Goreng!!=P with novel and bread at the back >.<

PaniC attack!!

i think it's because of game..i'm sick..that "air war" CF until 5am..make my life turn upside down...

i can't believe i still can CF just now..

now i've lost my sleep..even im super tired..

everything i dream of, even it's just normal dreams, make me feel scare..i will get panic..was it panic?

i don't know, i just feel those things that happen in dream, are so real, and big, and loud..

it definitely distract my brain..after one dream, i will wake..

then i can't sleep..

and now i got flu, headache, and really heatty...

after effect of castle fight..=.=

MetalYi

..because i need you..

i was..very happy this morning..when i think of showering snowie, that she will smells great, i feels good..

today i don't feel any lazyness in me..

but when i shower snowie, i feel she's different, i don't know how to describe that..but just different..i wet myself, hand full with soup, slipped the shower pipe, it turns one round, and it wet my face, just right after i wet my face the finger press the "pause" button and water goes off..

i was shock at that time..what im doing? and snowie, that brat, look at me, for the first time after we enter the toilet..it's like she know something..

after i stun for a while, i fix the pipe position and start showering her again, then i suddenly laugh, that was embarrasing..haha

after that she never look at me again..i begin to feel pissed with her, she's not a good girl today..shower time, i mean..i need to pull her so hard to shower her..have to be so rude to her..

after shower, she normally walk into my hands, with the tower..but today she don't..she look at the tower for long time..don't dare to walk forward..end up i have to pull her..

i don't know whats wrong with her..

My mom soon came back, ask me if her wound is ok, cause there's been blood on the floor, no one have period, no one is bleeding, and snowie's period is over..lin suspect its coming out from the wound..

i checked her wound, i;m not so sure about it, but i see dried blood..i guess its her..for some reason, my soul left..i can't concentrate drying her, i don't feel brushing her fur..i feel really sad..

i suddenly thought of what my bro told me.."if u pray for a dog, it will die faster, that's to end their "creature" life and get a new life"...that's what the sifu said to him..

i prayed for her everynight, and she wants it..everytime i light a candle, she will hop on to me, wants me to carry her and pray..

what i wish for, is her to be healthy..i need her very much..

perhaps im thinking too much..but from how she react today, really worries me..when i told lin bout this, the tears just keep coming out..i don't want her to go..

and i wont let her pray from today onwards..i don't care if lin's gonna make her pray or not..but me, definitely no...i cannot take it if she leaves me..she's the reason i live..i want her..


MetalYi

又一天！！

今天又和MEX出去了。。这次是和他的一些朋友。。大部分都是我认识的。。我们看SURROGATE。。还真好看叻。。

其实我蛮吓到我妹。。就突然和一大班出去，而且是临时MEX约的。。一约我就去。。很爽快！！

这样蛮爽的嘛！！至少我的拜五不是闷在家无所事事。。早睡又半夜醒来。。酱的拜五，不如把我杀了吧！！哈哈！！

突然用华语，其实就想学会打快一点，因为桂丽谈心事时，都爱用华语咯！！看我为你学叻！！哈哈。。

下次就试下用华语和你谈心事吧！！

今天整天就是呆在家，闷死，还逃课，更闷。。哈哈。。晚上有人约还好，要不然就惨！！

SURROGATE真的是一部很不错的片子。。我还蛮喜欢它的故事内容，只是有时会有点不明白，要想很久才分析得出来。。你们看的人要注意注意它的MAKE-UP，做得很好！！真的有料！！

今天特别累，心也有点痛，我EQ太低了，就为小小事情伤到心，可是出去后好了一些。。现在只是有点累，可是想玩GAME哦！！没人ONLINE。。YOYO又生病`。。算了，还是读书然后睡觉吧。。

晚安咯！！

美德仪（哈哈）=P

Call, call??

Another sleepless night...oh no...should say, i'm awake...=|

fate .. im not allowed to sleep at 10pm..

this is the consequences..

now i don't know what to do..

i knew..i will wake..so i keep my eyes close..don't wanna wake..

but my sister came in..i heard her saying "eskandar" very loud..

i thought she talk in dream..curiosity kills..

i open my eye a little to peep what she's up to..

great! she's put her mouth near to the phone and repeat "eskandar" again..

must be some caller thing...

i tried to sleep back..then i heard "er jie"..and then "da jie"..

i'm like wtf??is it that fun??

after im back from the toilet, i check my phone..one missed call, from my sister..

then i knew what she's doing already..trying to call others using her voice lol

i find it quite cute..but yeah, im awake =|

as for now, i'm so scare i can't wake tomorrow morning for jye's class..

and i don't know how's the editing..i hope i can do it tomorrow with hinz..

i know it wont turn out to be perfect =(

but will try my best to do it..

AND i'm hungry!!!
always like that =.=

Black eyed pease - meet me halfway

Fell in love with this song...do u think its worth buying ??? =PP



I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day yes, I'm really missin' missin' you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl, what's up, it use to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day, yes I'm really missin missin you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up

Meet me halfway, right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas
Across the universe I go to other galexies
Just tell me where you want, just tell me where you wanna to meet
I navigate myself myself to take me where you be
Cause girl I want, I, I, I want you right now
I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown
I wanna to have you around (round) like every single day
I love you alway... way

Can you meet me half way (I'll meet you halfway)
Right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Let's walk the bridge, to the other side
Just you and I (just you and I)
I will fly, I'll fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)
I will try, until I die, for you and I, for you and I, for for you and I,
For for you and I, for for you and I, for you and I

Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Meet me half way, right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

i want to....

Suddenly, feel wanna play the sims..lazy to download..suddenly, feel wanna play shooting game..left 4 dead..? suddenly feel going out..

feel doing so many things suddenly..but din't do any of them...lifeless shit..

end up playing games on facebook..

oh at least im downloading "my sister's keeper"...half way there =P

i wanna buy the long skirt...i wanna buy that long pants...argh..stupid..

i wanna drink...

sigh...what a bored day..

To Darren~

darren, i'm not trying to make u down..what i wanna say is, look at those people around you, you think they look good?everyone have their own story, many more people are living in hell, many ppl have harder life than yours..

you are not a sick child, you can move, you can talk, you're not deaf or mute..if you think what u tell me is the only way to solve the problem, if u think there's no people who really care for you, then just do what you want...

all the while im trying to make you happier, i know living alone outside is hard, especially when you're alone..that is the matter of whether u want to work it out or not...if you think destroying it will be the best way, do it...

worst to worst your family and people who loves u will cry for few days..at that time, no one will feel pity for you, u will make your family feel sorry, feel guilty, if that's what u want, hurt them..hurt them hard then...

i used to be like you, where i just think of suicide suicide suicide, but think about it, when i was born, i got pneumonia, after pneumonia, i got epilepsy...everytime i suffer, i wanna die..but one thing..what bout my parents??they paid for all my medical bills...for what??they wannt me to live good...

everything is the same..same goes to you...if there's a reason to die, there will be a reason to live..my family, is the reason for me to live..snowie, is my reason to live..

maybe you don't have now..but don't u have a dream??u don't want anything??ur satisfy with your life now?

im sure u dont...cause that is your REASON to die...but i dont see that...i will laugh at u if u die...you give up so easily...demon is in you darren...we don't play the game this way..we don't lose the game and we die...

look at those people that suffer from sickness and earthquake..they are not even given the chance to control their life...and u are here, telling me u want to give it up to god...god wont even keep ur fucking dead body...

think about it darren, i say all this cause i treat u as friend, i care for you..even i havent seen u in real before...you're just a game friend...but i will say this to every person who see life and death so easily..

i don't care if ur fooling with those words or really mean it...i just hate it when people say that...

sorry if this don't make u happy..i just want u to be well..anything u still can come for me..bye..!!

your friend,
MetalYi

Tired day~

Today, is a really tiring day..

i woke up having seizure, i see the time, and im like "no wonder im having seizure, 12sumthing and i havent take medicine".

i slept too well that i can't hear any alarms. everytime when i have seizure, i want to skip class..and for another reason that makes me wanna skip is...the script..im so afraid that he will reject it..i was hoping, that today's media study wont have practical..

and shoot!!Practical is today's assignment..i can't concentrate at all..i ammm tired!!!...i stood there..look at the teamates discussing..i nod and nod..but i don't get it at all..

i get teh ice from make hot aunty..that makes me feel better..and i think my teammates will find me annoying...cuz after the discussion, i go forward and ask him.."what u plan to do?" and he have to start from the very beginning..

seriously, i don't doubt your skill..i think you guys are quite smart really...and i know that..u guys wanna save time..

i suggest a rehearsal, is not gonna waste ur time..it will actually save more time..

so we did a rehearsal which doesn't look like a rehearsal, im pretty satisfy with you all cause we can still talk..

after class, i rush to meet up with mex..didn't really rush..just too excited cuz the class is finally over..

you said i looks sad..actually im just tired..really..and it;s becuz i told u that's why u feel i look sad..im ok =)

i wanted to watch it..sorority row? im like...hmm...i don;t know...feel watching, and don;t ready yet LoL..

sorry to make u late for the movie..next time movie on me =P and thanks for the very belated birthday meal..

i shall........................game a while and sleep xD

MetalYi

醒了，彻底的醒了！

i know what is wrong now..

know how to pick it up, must learn how to put it down..

i thought im letting go of it, two days after the breakup, i really learned to let it go already..

after that two "peaceful" day, he called up..

after he call up i feel extremely bad, not feeling so good about everything..

after reading the blog...hmm..what i can say is.."u got me"!! that was the first time i cry after the break up..

the next day i talked to yo and lin..was thinking of should i work it out?

what they say is, "follow your heart"..

i never know, i'm like some kind of bitch who break people's heart, and honestly telling here, want it back..

i'm living in that kind of situation, which, i already don't know what i'm thinking and what i'm doing..

if only you leave me alone, i'd be fine..

i'm the bitch..i tried to ask you out..mannnn....twicee my dear twice!!! got rejected, ok maybe for him it don't sound like reject..

actually it's not a reject..not a direct reject, but god!! this two "reject" actually wakes me up..

i'm like "WHAT IM DOING?"

i break it off, and i want it back??

i don't want it to be like that...im awake now..i wont do anything foolish anymore..

ok, a sudden bad feeling, and then relief..

being reject is aweful, but yeah, it wakes me up..i'm glad it does..stupid yi!!!

MetalYi

Change of time~

what a waste of time..

woke early in the morning..i received a long message..which looks like a !warning! message..

a message from my sister, saying my dog have constipation..ask me to wake early and shower her..

i got up at 12pm..and i quickly get down to see snowie...(i drop my god dam phone) =(

i bath her..and im exhausted...i didn't sleep well..

my lecturer msged me, asked me to go at 3pm..im abit angry with that...he thought i'm like free whole day??i mean yeah im free whole day but don't keep change time will you??

so...i message him after i fetch lin from college..i asked him to make it tomorrow =P

i dion't wanna go just to show him paperwork and come back...im not wrong right??

im still having stomach ache..sigh...lin and i accompany snowie =(

MetalYi

Sleepless night

It's another sleepless night...

Bei, i don't think that blogging is a waste of time..don't worry..; about today, it's ok about it, its not that you don't want to accompany me..it's the job..no problem..

sometimes u have to listen to what the aunty and uncle say =P it sure helps alot....

but still...i hate being rejected,..=P next time u ask me out better...hahaha

right now, i am sooooooo soooooooooooo tired...i see your status away...my other friends are not online..so...just be a moron for one night..know ur not there...but talk to you...

i guess im meant to sleep late every night..

i went to bed at 10something...slept at 10 something..i already know, that i will wake at 12..cuz im meant to sleep late hahah...

indeed, i wake at 12 something...forced myself to go back to bed, but i can't..i feel like watching a movie, but sooo lazy to go in to my da jie room and SEARCH (that's a big progression) for disc i wanna watch..

i wanted to on pps and watch the chermain movie..the one i keep saying i wanna watch..but! im afraid that i will watch till the next morning...

so here i am...blogging, and playing mini games on facebook..

~~~im hungry =(

it happens every night, i wake up in the middle of the night, i come down to online, after that i will stand in the kitchen for long time..thinking to eat or not to eat...

sigh~~

i was thinking just now...tomorrow is actually not like a class..since there's only one student, which is me...the class will end very early..

but theres many types to end the class, either he will say ur story is lame, without looking at the script, ask me to go back redo, or, he will read the whole thing, confirm he will criticise..

or, he might say i don't like..so bye bye!

hopefully he accept what i do...and thanks for your support my dear..it means alot..

i watched video of tourrette syndrome today..they're pity..tics sure is killing them..i feel so sad for them..but one thing...after watching the video, do i love myself more??

hmm..i guess a LIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE BIT MORE...xD

im tiredddddddddddd~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'll continue with my game i guess..night!

MetalYi

OMG

After so long holiday..tomorrow i'm gonna be back at college and meet "him" again...

that kind of fear..wow..it's like so long..and im so scare to be one on one with him =[

what if he rejects my idea???

i print out everything...except the shooting script..i don't feel going to do any printing..

i feel like wanna sleep..but if i sleep..i will wake at 10pm..then i wont be able to sleep anymore..

sigh...tomorrow....

i should start doing my animation now..

for some reason that i dont know..i'm not doing it..

just a random post anyway..

Cheers to all,
MetalYi

What i'm doing?

6th day after the break up

everything seems normal again.. until u called up and ask about my day..

i feel so worry..because you don't sound good to me..

Today will be my last day to post about break up stuff..

i don't think it's good to mention the sad moment always..don't you feel annoying?

6th day after the break up, it feels like it happened yesterday..
i took out my diary and the card u gave me on my birthday..

after i see the thing you wrote me, i suddenly thought of the little note i wrote for you and stuffed it in your car..

i wonder, where is it..

I really don't want to talk about all this anymore..either it end up happy or sad..just let it be..

i know you still can't help to see me..i don't know about next time..maybe you won't be seeing me forever..i don't know...just let it be natural then..

3:44am
MetalYi

single again ...

5th day after the break-up

i'm getting used to it now..the days without you..

might think of him sometimes..when i have nothing to do...

but i will go blur..all the time..the mind go blank..

stun there..

people might find you stupid or ugly like that..but if u get to feel it yourself, it's one kind of enjoyment..

let go the thoughts, so blank, so enjoy..satisfying..

5th day after the break-up..it's like just yesterday..im holding your hands..

just like what i said yesterday..perhaps i should contact u lesser..it really did give me the better feeling..

but of course..still wonder sometimes..how u feeling now?are you good?

old one goes and new one will come..

i will go out more often if i can..

what's good is, im starting to get used to the single life now..

im back =)



MetalYi

what was it like?when we used to be?

4th day after break up...

trying to be like days where we used to be?like the closest friend ever??

think harder, we used to be like closest friend? we flirt alot..i was in love with him..he doesn't know that..

so how could we be like that now??

it would be better if we don't talk..after i talked to him...i feel bad every night..

i couldn't imagine what it will be like if i see him standing in front of me..

4th day after break up...
i feel so uneasy. it feels so bad to hurt a person. especially a person u don't wanna hurt.

i know how its like now.

and if i get to choose, i rather be the one to get hurt, then me hurting the person.

i was thinking, maybe im thinking too much. perhaps he's ok now? maybe watching tv, having fun, or sleeping well.

while i..stupidly thinks that i hurt him?


4th day after break up...it feels like its just yesterday..

i want everything good..

i was suppose to be doing my paperwork now..but i only done the first page. which is only 2 paragraph.

im feeling so worry..why is that?i hate that..

im blogging here..im not suppose to blog..my mind is so blank after my last conversation with him..

im fucked..

heart and the brain, they are enemies. they never goes the same way. dont u think human, normally follow the brain?

i'm not sure about that. but at the moment, i hate my heart, and at the same time, my brain, too..

i start to lost my mind already. it needed time to find back my way. my heart? i feel it..hard..it won't get numb this few days..it just keep bugging me...

MetalYi

Day 2, not too bad =)

2nd day after the break up, how i feel...hmm...actually quite good..i don't know how he feel..maybe still not too well but act like he's ok?

still, we talk like normal already, i don't get mad for silly little thing..i joke with you openly at gg, and so as u..

even lin feels that the "previous" beiyan is back again..."that's his style" she would say that..

and i told her, i am back too..she agree with that..

i don't know how u feel..i don't dare to ask that..of course im happy to see u talk like that...we can still talk..at least its a peaceful break up...im glad =)

i see u tried to cheer me up today when im down..it didn't really worked but i did feel better..

bei ah bei...that's why i say, we can do it..even we're not together..just look at today's progress, don't u feel it;s good?better then when we're together??

im a sucky gf, and u..akhem..ur a sucky bf too..xD don't get mad..just telling the truth..sucky sucky people cant work out...unless....i can always talk and react like today...

So!!that's the end of 2nd day..it's been quite good for me..well, im JUSTTTT A LITTLE bit curious how u feel but im not gonna ask =)

day 2, good, oh other than losting thumbdrive and have to redo animation stuff, i'm very fine..

and i hope, you're fine too..if u have problem, come to me..if i have problem..erm..i'll go to you..IF ur noot using 014 =P

i don't feel sleeping...i always feel that sleeping is gonna waste my day..hmmp!!!!well i'll wish u guys a happy night night then...and sleep tight!!

05:30am,
MetalYi