..because i need you..

i was..very happy this morning..when i think of showering snowie, that she will smells great, i feels good..

today i don't feel any lazyness in me..

but when i shower snowie, i feel she's different, i don't know how to describe that..but just different..i wet myself, hand full with soup, slipped the shower pipe, it turns one round, and it wet my face, just right after i wet my face the finger press the "pause" button and water goes off..

i was shock at that time..what im doing? and snowie, that brat, look at me, for the first time after we enter the toilet..it's like she know something..

after i stun for a while, i fix the pipe position and start showering her again, then i suddenly laugh, that was embarrasing..haha

after that she never look at me again..i begin to feel pissed with her, she's not a good girl today..shower time, i mean..i need to pull her so hard to shower her..have to be so rude to her..

after shower, she normally walk into my hands, with the tower..but today she don't..she look at the tower for long time..don't dare to walk forward..end up i have to pull her..

i don't know whats wrong with her..

My mom soon came back, ask me if her wound is ok, cause there's been blood on the floor, no one have period, no one is bleeding, and snowie's period is over..lin suspect its coming out from the wound..

i checked her wound, i;m not so sure about it, but i see dried blood..i guess its her..for some reason, my soul left..i can't concentrate drying her, i don't feel brushing her fur..i feel really sad..

i suddenly thought of what my bro told me.."if u pray for a dog, it will die faster, that's to end their "creature" life and get a new life"...that's what the sifu said to him..

i prayed for her everynight, and she wants it..everytime i light a candle, she will hop on to me, wants me to carry her and pray..

what i wish for, is her to be healthy..i need her very much..

perhaps im thinking too much..but from how she react today, really worries me..when i told lin bout this, the tears just keep coming out..i don't want her to go..

and i wont let her pray from today onwards..i don't care if lin's gonna make her pray or not..but me, definitely no...i cannot take it if she leaves me..she's the reason i live..i want her..


MetalYi